


In Lieu

by earthbaby



Category: Black Lightning (TV)
Genre: F/M, guess who’s endgame, kennifer stans be patient, the love triangle we deserve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23258443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthbaby/pseuds/earthbaby
Summary: The one where the girl has to choose between two lovers. The twist? They’re all metas.
Relationships: Jennifer Pierce/Brandon, Khalil Payne/Jennifer Pierce
Comments: 35
Kudos: 47





	1. Trauma

Season 4 (only Jennifer’s story line)

Jen smacked her hand against her alarm clock. It was only Thursday on the first week of school but Jen couldn’t find the motivation for school anymore. It seemed pointless after everything that happened. 

Knowing what she knows now about the world and how it could all be over at any minute, she couldn’t find a reason to want to sit in a classroom all day. 

She was supposed to take the summer to recover from the war and although she really did enjoy how calm her summer had been, truth be told, there is no getting over everything she went through. It was all to much. 

To much trauma, to much change, to many enemies made, to many life or death situations. Just to much. 

“Breakfast!” Jen suddenly heard her mothers voice yelling from downstairs. Looking over at the clock she had 10 minutes to get dressed. She didn’t realize she had been laying there for that long. Jumping up quick she ran into the bathroom, not wanting to have to walk to school. 

— 

“Are you going to stay today” Jefferson asked as they waited at a red light on their way to school. 

“What?” Jen chuckled nervously 

“Jennifer you should know by now that im not stupid. You’ve been skipping-“

“Dad-“ 

“Now... I let it slide this week because its only the first week of school and I know its been hard dealing with everything, from the ASA to Khalil but-“

Jen slide farther into the passenger seat making a face at the sound of Khalil’s name. Everyone avoided talking about him all summer and for good reason. They didn’t know Khalil had chocked the shit out of her. No one knew except Brandon and TC. She didn’t find it necessary for her family to know. All they needed to know is that it was over between them. 

Of course they were skeptical at first bringing up the many time Khalil and her had claimed to be broken up only to end up together again but by now they should know that its for good this time. 

“Dad” She interrupted “I got it okay. I will stay in school today but can we talk about this another time” 

“Yes we will talk about it after school... with your mother” Jefferson said. 

Jen sighed struggling to keep her eyes from rolling back. “Im going to study for a test at Brandons after school, I’ll be home by dinner though” 

“Brandon huh? Is that where you go when you skip?” 

“No dad that is not where I go when I skip. Brandon is just my best friend if you were trying to insinuate otherwise and before you ask we wont be alone. A group of us are going to study over there” Jen said losing count of how many lies she said in less then five seconds. “That must be a record” she thought to herself. 

“Sure” Jefferson said ironically. He knew her well enough to know better. Truth be told Jefferson remembered all to well how Jen was when she was locked in the house, and how terrified he had been when she ran away with Khalil. Since then he didn’t breath up her neck about where she was and who she was with. He gave her freedom and trusted that she wouldn’t abuse it.

And Jen being Jen, she abused that freedom of course, hence the skipping class and spending more time at Brandon’s apartment then in her own house. 

Walking into the school doors Jeff and Jen went their separate ways. Jen spotted Brandon’s full head of hair three lockers away from hers. 

Brandon leaned his back against the locker as a girl twirled her fingers at the tips of his hair. Jen chuckled. This was nothing new. Every day Brandon had girls trying to get close to him. Jen opened her locker making herself look occupied while listening to their conversation.

“So are you finally going to tell me what it is you put in your hair?” The girl asked twirling another curl.

“I told you already girl. Water” Brandon said.

Jen rolled her eyes as the girl threw her head back in exaggerated laughter as if he’d just made the funniest joke of all time. 

“You’re so funny” The girl said leaning into him nearly pressing him against the locker. 

Jen took the moment to slam her locker shut, the sound causing them both to look her way. Jen pressed her lips together in a forced smile. Watching as Brandon quickly took the girls hand out of his hair and fumbled to stand up straight. 

“I’ll see you around okay” Brandon said starting to walk in Jennifers direction. The girl said something in response but neither Jen nor Brandon were listening.

“Good Morning” Brandon said placing his hand smoothly on the locker next to Jennifer’s head hovering over her with a goofy smile on his face.

Jen didn’t move away from him but she made sure to roll her eyes to show her disapproval. “What time are we leaving?” 

“We just got here” Brandon said. Jen blinked waiting for him to answer her questions. “After lunch” Brandon sighed.

Jen smiled in content for the first time all morning. “See you after lunch then” she said placing a soft kiss on his check. She ducked under his arm and he watched her make her way to her class in the crowded hall. 

—

“We should” ..... “really be at” ...... “school” Brandon says between kisses. Somehow he was pulling her closer and pushing her away at the same time confusing even himself. 

Of course he was enjoying the changes the summer had brung in his and Jen’s friendship. Quite a lot but it wasn’t summer anymore. It was their senior year and skipping school every day didn’t seem like a good idea right now. 

“To hell with school” Jen huffed finally releasing the strong grip she had on Brandon’s shirt and lips. 

Jen dropped her bag on the floor on her way to the sofa, throwing herself as well. Brandon watched from the door concern filling his head. He hid it though. He knew her well enough to know that if she thought he was trying to fix something for her she’d just push him away. 

Pulling rolling paper from his bag, he sat next to her preparing the blunt they’d share. He could feel the satisfaction coming from her as she leaned into his side pressing her face into his neck. She didn’t want anyone questioning her decisions like her family. She didn’t want someone trying to stir her in the right direction like Khalil. She just wanted to enjoy the time where she wasn’t at war with whatever was threatening Freeland at the time.

Jen knew something would come eventually. something that would obligate her to put her suit on and fight for her and her family’s life. And she’d be ready when the time came but now there was nothing. No one trying to kill them or kidnap her. So she was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

And Brandon. Well Brandon kept her mind off things. Always has. They didn’t plan to become... whatever it is they were, during the summer. Its kinda just what happens when two teenagers are constantly getting high in a small apartment with no adult around.

Shaking Jen off of him, Brandon made a gesture to pass her the blunt, snapping his hand back right before she could grab it. The glare she shot him could have scared him had he not known her. “Tomorrow we are staying at school until the bell rings. No skipping, no leaving early.” He said, still holding the blunt away from her.

“Whatever” Jen mumbled rolling her eyes and reaching for the blunt. 

He gave in, passing her the blunt, watching as she put it in her mouth with a content smile. He couldn’t be hard on her for too long, he didn’t want to. cause deep down he didn’t want to be at school either. He wanted to be here with her.

He sat back in the couch, sliding one of his legs behind her and pulling her backwards into his chest. She sighed, closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto his shoulder blowing smoke up to the ceiling


	2. Changed Behavior

Jen didn’t leave Brandon’s house until the sun went down that day. It wasn’t until her high died down that she realized that she had missed dinner with her parents.

She opened the front door slowly, half expecting to receive the wrath of her parents and half expecting them to be asleep. 

Jen sighed in relief because the lights in the house were off. She closed the door and quietly made her way to her room. 

Later that night after she had showered and found herself listening to music comfortably under her blankets, Jefferson knocked on her door.

He’d heard her come in a few hours ago and knew there was a conversation to be had, but didn’t want to jump at her too quickly, not wanting her to think she was in trouble.

“Hey daddy” 

“Hey baby girl can I come in?” 

Jen nodded, sitting up in the bed and resting her back against her headboard. Jeff sat next to her at the edge of the bed waiting to see if she was going to explain herself.

“Im sorry I didn’t make it to dinner” Jen finally said after a moment of silence. 

“You put me in a really tough spot Jennifer I had to talk your mother down for two hours, She wanted to wait up until you got home to give you an ear full” 

“Oh. Sorry” 

Jeff sighed when he realized she wasn’t going to tell him where she was or what she was doing that made her miss dinner.

“Get some rest” He said, standing up to leave the room. Jen made a face of confusion.

“Wait-“ Jen said making Jeff turn back around “Am I not in trouble?”

“Not with me but I cannot speak for your mother” He said. 

“Why are you being so lenient with me?” Jen was very confused as to why she wasn’t being yelled at or grounded right now. 

“Grounding you never stopped you before why would it now? I trust that you are smart enough to stop yourself now before you lose yourself completely” 

Jen felt her heart sink to her stomach at the sound of defeat in her dad’s voice. She felt that him not being strict was some how equivalent to him giving up on her. Deep down she knew that was just her subconscious and that he would be the last person on earth to ever lose hope in her but it still hurt to think about.

She never wanted to disappoint him and she knew if she kept going down this road she would eventually do exactly that.

Jen stood up quickly and rushed to hug him so tight she knocked the air out of him. “Im sorry daddy. I won’t skip anymore.... I promise” 

Jeff looked down at her head as she pressed her face into his chest. He hugged her back just as tightly. He really did trust her to make better decisions, if not for herself, then for her family. 

—

The next morning Jen woke up with a different mind set then the one she had all summer and this starting week of school. Starting today she wanted to stop feeling sorry for herself. 

She wanted to stop skipping clase with the excuse of how she was a witness to the -almost- end of the world. She wanted to stop getting higher then her small body could handle just to forget, and she wanted to actually start dealing with her trauma in a healthy way. She was going to stop neglecting and ignoring her family because all she could see when she looked at them was how close she got to losing them. Instead she was going to show them how grateful she was that they were still here. 

And she wanted to stop letting her past relationship ruin her chances of a new one, meaning she was going to stop toying with Brandon and admit she had real feelings for him. 

Well she wasn’t sure about that last one but she was going to try. She woke up that morning ready to try and get her life together. 

Thats why when she went downstairs for breakfast, before her mom could even open her mouth to yell at her for missing dinner last night she gave her a big hug, kiss and apology, promising that it wouldn’t happen again. 

Lynn watched in shock as Jen gave her dad an equally genuine hug and kiss and started to fill her plate with eggs. Lynn noticed Jen’s changed demeanor. She wasn’t dragging her feet and pouting like she had done all summer. She was smiling and starting an actual conversation with them.

Jefferson and Lynn exchanged looks. Jeff just shrugged, continued to eat and listen to what Jen was talking about. As much as Lynn wanted to yell at Jen, she couldn’t find it in herself to ruin this moment. So she took a seat at the table with them and joined the conversation as well, hoping that Jen was being sincere and would keep her promise. 

—

“So whats going on?” Brandon asked suspiciously as him and Jen took a seat at a lunch table. Like Lynn, he too noticed Jen’s sudden change of mood, not to mention this was normally the time they’d be sneaking out the school’s emergency exit to head to his apartment. 

“What’s going on with what?” Jen asked picking at her lunch tray. 

“You’re acting different” Brandon said raising an eyebrow.

“Because I don’t want to skip class?”

“I mean yeah... don’t get me wrong I was starting to think we should start staying in school too but I thought it would be harder to convince you”

“So you didn’t want to skip you were just doing it because I said too?” Jen snorted.

“I wanted to skip too but just because we wanted to doesn’t mean we should or that it was a good idea” Brandon said.

“Good point” Jen admitted with a sigh. “Truth is, I promised my dad I would stop.” 

“Ahhhh I see” 

“Yeah... I also want to tone it down on the smoking, we don’t need to get high every day just because we can” 

“Woah woah... you don’t need to get high every day if you don’t want to. Don’t be tryin’ to good influence me” Brandon said jokingly making Jen laugh loudly.

“I hate you....” She said still laughing. 

After lunch as Brandon walked Jen to her next class, a concern was still lingering around in his thoughts from their previous conversation. 

“Hey Jen” He said bumping her shoulder as they walked the hall.

“Hmm?”

“Can you still come over to my place after school?” He asked.

Jen held back a smile at the shyness in his voice. “Do you want me to?” 

“Of course I want you too” 

“Oh” Jen looked away to hide her growing smile. 

As they came to a stop in front of her class room, Brandon raised his hand to tilt her head back in his direction making her look at him. 

“We don’t have to be skipping or smoking or doing anything reckless, I just like hanging with you” Brandon said honestly.

He liked the fact that she spent more time at his house then at her own house. The loneliness always seemed creeped up on him most when she wasn’t there. 

“Well I’ll just meet you after last period” 

“Bet” Brandon smiled.

“I swear to god if you leave without me-“

“I won’t” Brandon interrupted.

She nodded. He looked at her like he was going to kiss her and she looked down nervously, not quite ready for PDA, especially considering they weren’t clear on what exactly they were to each other. She wanted to talk about it first before they went any further. This too was part of her getting her life together. 

“I’ll see you later” Jen said giving him a last smile before turning to go into class. 

—

Brandon left a deep moan against Jen’s lips that went straight to her ego. She pulled away with a cocky smirk. 

“Uh sorry” Brandon mumbled with swollen lips. 

Jen chuckled running her fingers through his hair to relax him. She didn’t understand why he got so embarrassed. Jen watched as he visibly relaxed at the feeling of her fingertips on his scalp. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. 

“Ya know what I realized” Jen said after a few moments, deciding this was a good time to bring up their “situation”. 

“Hmmm?” The long haired boy hummed keeping his eyes closed. 

“We’ve been at this for like 2 months and you have never tried to take it to the next step” 

“Next step?” 

“You know...” 

Brandon opened his eyes at that. He wondered what she meant. She could be talking about sex but she could also be talking about a relationship. Technically they weren’t in a relationship and they never talked about that, titles.

With Jen there was no one way of knowing which of the two she was referring to. It was pointless to try to guess. 

“Jennifer what are you talking about?” 

Jen rolled her eyes at his inability to read her mind. “Like you haven’t tried to make this” She pointed to the space between them “official” 

“Oh” Brandon said.

Jen snapped her hand away from his hair. She didn’t even try to hide how offended she was by his tone “Oh? What does oh mean?” 

“I just— I don’t know.” Brandon struggled to put his thoughts into words “I mean of course I want to be with you I just don’t think we should go there yet” 

“Well why not?” Jen said curiously.

Brandon sighed. This is not how he wanted this conversation to happened. In fact he didn’t want this to even be a conversation. In a perfect world, making them an official couple would have been like everything else with them had been. Something unexpected, unplanned, but perfect. 

But seeing that Jennifer was staring at him with her arms crossed, waiting for what he had to say, this was a conversation they were going to have eventually so why not now. 

“Look Jen” He said turning to her and grabbing her hands. “You are the most beautiful thing i’ve ever laid eyes on, and I have so many feelings for you, im sure you know this already even if we never really talk about feelings but you should already know that I want to be with you in every way possible”

Jennifer’s eyes widened at that because honestly she thought he would just be his usual suave self and say something flirty and charming and she’d roll her eyes and pretend to be annoyed. 

“but we have both been through so much lately. Everything you went through with Odell plus me with Jace, it was a lot and I don’t know if adding a relationship to that would do us any good. 

“Wow” Jen said. Brandon could tell she didn’t look quite satisfied with his response, giving him the impression that maybe she did want him to ask her out officially. 

“What?” Brandon asked.

“I think it could be good for us....maybe” Jen confessed. 

“You do?” 

“I mean we’ve been here for each other through everything you just mentioned and more. I can’t really think of a good reason why we shouldn’t be together.”

Brandon was completely caught off guard. He always thought Jen avoided talking about this because she didn’t care to be with him officially. Maybe this was apart of her changed behavior and not wanting to skip or smoke anymore, he thought to himself.

“Are you saying you want to be my girl?”

“Im saying, if you asked me to be your girl..... I would consider it” Jen said quickly recovering from her moment of vulnerability that gave her the push to talk about her feelings for him. 

Brandon chuckled. “Okay.. good to know” 

“Okay that’s enough serious conversation to last me a month.. come here” Jen said placing her fingers in his hair once again and using her grip to pull him closer. 

In only a few moments Jens back was against the sofa and Brandon’s shirt was no where in sight. 

But then her phone rang. They both paused looking over at the phone that read “GO HOME!” from the alarm she had set when they got there. She was hell bent on keeping her promise to her mother about not missing dinner but she couldn’t help feeling annoyed by the phone that continued to ring loudly because now Brandon’s hands weren’t on her anymore. 

Brandon got off of her, sitting up straight on the sofa. “Guess that means you have to go huh?” he mumbled 

“Guess so” she said, standing.

He watched as she straighten her clothes and grabbed her phone and bag. “See you tomorrow” She said before bending down to peck his lips and leaving his apartment. 

It took Brandon a good hour to register the conversation that they had. If he understood correctly, she was trying to tell him she wanted to be with him with out really saying it. So he came to a conclusion.

He was going to ask her to be his girlfriend. Soon. 

—

The next day as soon as Jen entered the school doors she began counting down the hours until last period so her and Brandon could go to his apartment and just be in each others presence. She felt different again today. She felt excitement and butterflies. 

Jen smiled to herself as she opened her locker remembering Brandon’s speech and how she knew in that very moment that she wanted to be with him, “in every way” like he said. 

Jen had avoided thinking about her feelings for Brandon all summer but yesterday felt different. Yesterday made her realize how lucky she was to have someone like Brandon. Where they were at right now in their “relationship”, Jen was sure that if he asked her to be his girlfriend right now, she’d say yes. 

She couldn’t think of one reason why she would say no, they already did everything together and there was honestly nothing standing in their way of making it official. 

She hadn’t felt like this since-

“Are you thinking of me with that big ass smile on your face” 

Jen turned her back to her locker at the sound of Brandon’s voice next to her ear. She hadn’t even realized she was smiling. 

“No.” Jen lied “I was thinking about.... food” 

Brandon lifted an eyebrow, placing his hand on the locker at the side of her head, trapping her between himself and the locker. 

“Food?” Brandon repeated in confusion.

“And weed” Jen shrugged, lying again.  
Brandon laughed in amusement.

“Food and weed? Is that what makes you this happy and smiley?”

“Yup” Jen would never admit to him being the reason he had caught her smiling in a daze. 

Although the smirk on his face let her know that he knew she was lying. She rolled her eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. She knew that he too, was thinking about their conversation from yesterday and what it meant. 

It was just a matter of time before he asked her and she couldn’t wait. 

“I wish we could skip and leave now” Jen sighed thinking out loud.

“Me too but you promised your dad that we’d stop skipping” Brandon reminded her as he pushed her hair behind her ear.

Jen furrowed here eyebrows as she looked around at the suddenly silence in the very crowded hallway. She felt the intensity growing in the air as the students murmured and gasped. Brandon had yet to realize the change in the atmosphere because he was still looking down at her and playing with strands of her hair. 

Jen looked around, confused as to why everyone had seemed to stop what they were doing and went silent all of a sudden. It wasn’t until a group of students parted to make way for another person to walk by that her breath got stuck in her throat.

When Brandon noticed Jen tense up as she started breathing heavy, thats when he finally took his eyes off her, suddenly becoming aware of everyone’s shocked state. 

His confusion was short lived as he followed Jen’s gaze to see Khalil slowly walking down the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how we was all getting our life together and Covid-19 came in uninvited like “Whats good?”.... thats Khalil. Lol Hope you enjoyed :)


	3. Moved On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of domestic violence  
> TW: Mentions of school shooting
> 
> AN: Jefferson is still principal in this story because its what he deserves and how it’s meant to be. Enjoy!

Khalil sighed as he adjusted his book bag. He looked up at his old school trying to calm down. “This is a terrible idea.” He kept thinking to himself. The entire student body thought he was dead and half of them never forgave him for shooting up the school back when he was gang banging. 

But Perenna said it was the next step to getting his life back on track. School. Graduating. All summer he’d been working with her. Working on dealing with everything he went through in the last two years and the things Painkiller had made him responsible for.

Khalil made many improvements with her help. So much that she decided it was the perfect time to send him back to school. Khalil disagreed, he would rather be anywhere else right now. But he had grown to trust her. She was the only one there for him this summer and if he had to suck it up and go to school to show her his appreciation he would do that. 

He took one last deep breath before pushing the school doors open and stepping in. 

“Is that Khalil?” 

“What the fuck?”

“Girl didn’t he die?” 

“You know what they say about freeland. No one ever truly dies” 

“Is he going to try and kill us all again?” 

Khalil pretended not to hear the murmurs of his old classmates. He held his head high and looked straight ahead as they all seemed to step out of his way.

Brandon and Jen watched as he walked right pass them not even noticing them. It wasn’t until Khalil entered the principal’s office that the hallway went back to its noisy self. Everyone returning to what they were doing like a man didn’t just rise from the dead before their eyes. 

All except Jen. She was frozen in place still staring at the door Khalil had disappeared behind. She didn’t hear Brandon calling her name. She finally snapped out of her trance when she felt him caress the side of her face. She looked up at him confused.

“Huh?” 

“I said are you okay?” 

“Oh yeah. Im fine” Jen said managing to collect herself now that Khalil wasn’t in her sight.

Brandon raised an eyebrow with concern. Knowing what he knows it wasn’t a surprise that Jen tensed up like she did and he wanted to assure she really was okay.

“What?” Jen asked turning to stuff a book into her locker before slamming it shut.

“Did you know Khalil was back?” He asked grabbing her waist to turn her back around to face him.

“No” 

“Oh. You haven’t seen him since-“ Brandon hesitated to finish his statement not wanting to upset her.

“Since he beat your ass and choked the living shit out of me?” Jen finished for him bluntly. 

“Yeah?” 

“No” Jen lied. “I haven’t seen him since then” 

Jen lied about the last time her and Khalil saw each other. She didn’t want Brandon to know that Khalil went to see her that same night because then she would have to tell him about their conversation. 

That conversation was private, between her and Khalil and honestly Jen also felt ashamed for the way it all went down. She hated that Brandon and TC were witnesses to what Khalil did to her that day. It would have been much easier to pretend it never happened if no one knew. 

She also hated that Khalil needed her, and she failed to ride for him like she has in the past and like she always said she would. She didn’t want to have to explain how she couldn’t take the heat of Khalil at his lowest. She didn’t want to have to repeat the words of rejection she spoke to Khalil that night or describe the pain in his eyes as he dropped to his knees in front of her only for her to neglect him. So she lied. 

“Jen you never talk about what happened that day.” 

“What’s to talk about? Im over it. I’ve moved on.” Jen says starting to walk in direction to her class. 

“Really?” Brandon asked as he followed behind her.

“You couldn’t tell with my tongue down your throat all summer?” Jen chuckled. 

“I mean...” Brandon would have believed her had it not been for her looking like she was going to faint at seeing Khalil swaggering down the hall just 10 minutes ago. 

Jen stopped in front of her class turning to face Brandon only to see a worried expression on his face. She sighed standing on her toes and grabbing his face. She placed her lips softly on his feeling him relax despite the surprised expression on his face as she pulled away. 

“See. Over it.” She winked before turning and going into the classroom without another word leaving a dopey looking Brandon standing there. 

They never kissed in public. What point she was trying to prove? She didn’t really know but she hoped it was enough to satisfy him and make him forget about Khalil being back for the moment. 

and it did exactly that. Brandon stood there stunned until the bell rang moments later. He smiled to himself as he ran to his class. 

—

“I want to say thank you Mr. P” Khalil said genuinely as he sat in the principal’s office across from Jefferson. “Not only for sending Perenna to me at the start of the summer but also for getting me approved to come back to school. I know the school board weren’t easy to convince since I shot the school up and-“

“Don’t mention it son. Im glad you decided to come back and I can’t wait to see you graduate at the end of the year.” 

“We will see if I get that far” Khalil sighed not bothering to get his hopes up.

“I know you will. Perenna told me Painkiller hasn’t been a problem lately since Odell tried to deactivate him-“

“That doesn’t mean he is gone for good. Im not letting my guard down when it comes to Painkiller” Khalil said firmly. 

“I understand but its a positive thing that he isn’t here now. You are going to do great this school year. Plus you have perenna, you have me-“

“I don’t have Jen...” Khalil said thinking out loud. 

“Now Khalil you know you can come to me about any of your adversities. Except that one” Jefferson said with a chuckle.

“I know. I miss her that’s all” 

Jeff sighed. “Have you tried talking to her?”

“I don’t think she wants to talk to me right now.” 

Khalil wasn’t surprised at Jefferson’s question. He knew for sure Mr. P was oblivious to the real reason him and Jen weren’t together. He was grateful for that because if he knew Khalil had put his hands on his daughter he would not be helping him at all. And Khalil needed his support. 

“When Lynn and I were separated and I missed her, I would pick up the phone and call her. Every single time. Even if I knew she wouldn’t answer. Even if I knew we’d end up arguing. I never stopped calling. Thats all i’ll say about that.” Jefferson gave Khalil a look. A look that said don’t ask me about my daughter again. Khalil just nodded.

“Now here is your scheduled for this first semester, I want you to set up a meeting with each of your teachers since you are a week behind. Let them know you are willing to do what you have to to catch up with the rest of the students.” 

Khalil nodded looking over the schedule. 

“Great! Get to class then” 

—

After the long school day Khalil was exhausted. Exhausted of doing school work, of being looked at weird, of answering question after question about how he was alive, where he’s been, why he shot the school up. 

He supposed it could be worse though. At least his old classmates were talking to him, even if their questions were triggering, it wasn’t their fault. How else would they be expected to react to his return. 

He was just grateful that he was being accepted for the most part. Khalil kept a look out for Jen in the halls, at lunch, even made sure to check if they shared any classes.

It wasn’t until last period, as he sat in his last class, waiting for the class to start, that he finally saw her. After three long months, there she was.

She squinted as she stepped into the classroom. Khalil sat up watching her from his seat. He wanted to get up and hug and kiss her. Or say hi or something. He at least wanted her to see him. To know he was back, before she heard from someone else. 

He wondered if she had already heard and was avoiding him all day, or if she had seen him in the halls and hid from him, or-

He felt his mind go blank and his heart beat double time as their eyes locked. Him still in his seat, her slowly making her way further into the classroom. Jen’s mind also went blank, as she was no longer paying attention to her own movements, eyes glued to his.

She suddenly stumbled, her foot tripping over someone’s book bag on the floor. She finally pulled her eyes away from his as she caught herself before she could fall. 

“Shit” she mumbled grabbing onto the desk next to her. 

“What was that Ms. Pierce?” The teacher said with a look of disapproval at Jennifer’s use of profanity in the classroom. 

“Sorry” Jen mumbled sitting down in the desk next to her and slouching down into the seat. 

Khalil stared at the back of her head as they teacher started the class. When the last bell of the day rang Jen looked down at the scribbles and small drawings in her notebook. She hadn’t heard a thing the teacher said during that whole hour. Khalil watched as she asked the girl next to her for her notes and thanked her.

“I’ll bring you your notebook tomorrow” Jen said with a smile as she stood up. 

Khalil stood as well hoping she’d turn around to acknowledge him. She didn’t. She grabbed her bag and walked out the classroom before Khalil could even call out her name. 

With a deep sigh Khalil grabbed his things, and pretended not to hear the teacher call his name as he left the class hoping to catch up to her. The hall was too crowded with students trying to get out to go home. He looked around but she was no where in sight.

He headed for the doors. As he walked out the school he caught sight of her in the parking lot. When he was finally catching up to her was when he noticed Brandon walking beside her. 

He recalled owing him an apology as well for what Painkiller did to him last time he saw him. He called out Jen’s name just before they could get into what he assumed what Brandons car. 

They both turned at the call. Jen cursed under her breath as he approached them. She could feel Brandon tense up beside her and she almost reached out to grab his hand but stopped herself. 

“Jay can we talk” Khalil asked. 

He raised an eyebrow when Brandon made a move to stand between them as if he were protecting her from something.

“Alone” He added looking Brandon up and down. 

Jen opened her mouth to respond but Brandon spoke first “Last time you were alone you put your hands on her”

Both Jen and Khalil cringe at the memory. There was no denying it. Even though Painkiller was the one to blame for his violence towards Jen, it had been Khalil’s hands to cause her pain. Khalil’s face was the one she saw as she begged for him to stop. It was true. 

He watched how Jen stood closely behind Brandon, her hand grazing his, almost holding onto him but not quite. 

Khalil cleared his throat trying his best to keep his jealousy at bay. “That wasn’t the last time Jen and I were alone. We had a civil conversation after the incident and im sure we can have one again.” Khalil said trying to reason with Brandon. 

Brandon almost reacted. He almost turned to Jen in question because just this morning she told him that was the last time she saw him. He didn’t react though. It wasn’t the time and for some reason he felt it important that Khalil knew there was trust between Jen and him. 

“Regardless. Y’all don’t need to be alone at all” 

Jen sighed, not liking how Brandon was speaking for her. He was right. She didn’t want to be alone with Khalil right now but she didn’t need him to protect her either. 

“Khalil” Jen said softly stepping between the two boys, both holding their chest high “I think its best for everyone that we stay away from each other” 

“Jay really? You can’t give me five minutes of your time after everything we’ve been through?” 

“Im sorry” she said reaching for Brandons hand and pulling him with her to the car. Brandon kept his eyes on Khalil as Jen dragged him away and despite having lost the battle of getting Jen to talk to him alone, Khalil held his head high keeping his eyes locked with Brandon’s until they got in the car and left.


	4. Safe Haven

“Calm down” Khalil heard Perenna say next to him as he still stood in the parking lot watching the car Brandon and Jen had just left in.

“I didn’t mean to summon you” Khalil sighed.

“How many times do I have to tell you. I can sense when you’re getting worked up.” 

“I know-“ Khalil started walking to his car with Perenna behind him. “Jen won’t talk to me.” 

“For good reason. Didn’t I tell you to stay away from her.” 

“And I had every intention of following your instructions until I saw her...” 

Both the angry boy and the mom-like-therapist got into his car and closed the doors.

“We don’t know what will trigger Painkiller to come back and trying to talk to Jennifer can bring up a lot of emotions that might do exactly that. Is that a risk you’re willing to take?” 

“Yes.” Khalil said out of anger. 

Is she seriously entertaining that Brandon dude? He thought to himself. He knew they’d been friends but now they seemed more then friendly. Khalil gripped the steering wheel tightly at the thought.

“Khalil” Perenna said snapping her fingers.

“I don’t know okay” Khalil said starting the car. “Im not ready to let her go.”

“That isn’t for you to decide. Have you forgotten how you hurt her?” 

“It was Painkiller!” Khalil tried not to raise his voice. He was hoping Perenna would say something to calm him down but she was just making him more mad.

“That is not the point. We’ve had this discussion already. Maybe sending you to school was a bad idea, One look at Jennifer and you’re already back tracking” 

“I told you it was a bad idea when you first brought it up.” Khalil mumbled.

“You didn’t want to go come back to school because you didn’t want to face your old classmates. Not because of Jennifer. If it was up to you you would have already talked to her.” Perenna said as a matter of fact.

Many times during the summer Perenna had to talk Khalil down from going to knock on Jennifer’s window. He recalled how he first found out Perenna could sense his emotions and appear out of no where:

Khalil was standing in the Pierce family backyard. It was one of the hard nights. A night when Khalil couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t stop crying. He was lonely all the time but especially that night.

It was his birthday and not a single person said anything to him about it. Granted he wasn’t in communication with anyone except Perenna and she didn’t know it was his birthday. He didn’t see a point in telling her. 

But now it was 11pm and he felt lonely. And somehow he found himself standing in the very familiar backyard. Seconds away from using all his strength to jump onto the roof and knock on Jen’s window. He just wanted to hear her voice saying happy birthday, he told himself. Maybe even a hug was what he needed, he hadn’t hugged anyone in three months, he hadn’t hugged her in three months.

That last thought was the thought that provoked the feeling that Perenna sensed. Just before he could jump onto the roof, Perenna’s voice stopped him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

“What the fu—“ Khalil flinched. “What are you doing here. How did you—“ Khalil looked around wondering where she came from.

“I can sense when you are not okay. This...” Perenna pointed up to the roof Khalil was just about to jump on “This is not okay. Go home.” 

“I just wanted to talk to her” Khalil said.

“At 11 at night?” Perenna gave him a look.

“Its not even like that” Khalil said shaking his head at her insinuation. 

“Okay so if you just want to talk then what do you expect will happen when she wants to talk about what happened and all you have to offer is blaming Painkiller?” Perenna asked seriously. Khalil looked down at the ground feeling like he wanted to cry again.

“Until you have worked on yourself enough to accept that Painkiller’s action are your actions, you are to stay away from that girl do you understand me?” 

“So you want me to accept that I killed my mother?” Khalil’s voice cracked.

“Yes. That is the only way you will get better Khalil and we have a lot of work to do but I need you to trust me.” 

Khalil didn’t trust her then. How could he trust someone he only met a week ago? But he trusted her now. And she was right. 

—

“I changed my mind about not smoking anymore. Let’s get high.” Jen said as her and Brandon entered his apartment. 

Brandon ignored her. He hadn’t said a word to her the entire ride from school after the very intense moment with Khalil in the school parking lot. He was mad about the audacity of Khalil to feel entitled to Jen’s time after everything he put her through. He was confused about why Jen felt the need to lie about the last time her and Khalil were alone together. 

“Hello? Earth to earth boy...” Jen said feeling Brandon’s attitude as he stomped around in his kitchen. 

“What?” He said not looking at her.

“You didn’t say a word in the car and now you’re ignoring me? What do you mean what?” 

Jen was so busy replaying the moment with Khalil in her head and questioning if she should have just talked to him to see what he had to say, she had yet to realize that she had gotten caught in a lie. 

“I need a minute Jennifer.” Brandon said starting to wash the dishes that were in the sink.

“A minute for what?” Jen said stepping around the counter. She walked up to where he was and turned off the sink faucet. She took the sponge out his hands and threw it into the sink as he took a deep breath. 

“Fine” He said turning to face her “I need a minute to figure out what made you think you had to lie to me?”

“Lie about what?” Jen said still confused. 

“About the last time you saw Khalil...” 

“Oh....” Jen bit her lip suddenly remembering Khalil’s words and how they contradicted her words to Brandon earlier that morning. 

Brandon crossed his arms as he looked down at her. She regret coming this close to him because now he was towering over her and looking at her like anyone would look when they catch someone in a lie. She wanted the ground to swallow her for this moment to end. 

“Why’d you lie?” Brandon asked seriously.

“I don’t know” 

“So when was it?” 

“When was what?” Jen looked up at him confused.

“When was the last time you saw him?” 

“Oh. It was that same night” Jen finally confessed with the truth. “He went to my house.”

Brandon felt relief wash over him. He thought that maybe the reason she had lied was because Khalil and her had a more recent encounter. Though knowing that Khalil was at her house that same night knowing how shook up Jen had been didn’t sit well with him either. 

“Did something happen that night? Did he hurt you again?” Brandon asked.

“What? No. He didn’t hurt me Brandon” Jen rolled her eyes walking away from him. “And i’m very capable of protecting myself.” 

“I know that” Brandon said following after her.

“Okay then you need to relax” Jen said. Jen got annoyed remembering how he stepped in between her and Khalil in the school parking lot earlier. 

“Im still not understanding why you lied” Brandon said.

“I told you I don’t know okay...maybe I just forgot” She lied... again.

“I don’t believe that.”

“Since when are you this obsessive?” Jen questioned not at all liking this new side of Brandon. 

Brandon took a deep breath. She was completely right. He never was the type to get worked up over an Ex, but this was not just a jealousy thing. Brandon felt protective over Jennifer. He knew she hated that and obviously didn’t need anyone protecting her but the feeling came naturally to him ever since they met. And his constant growing feelings for the girl added to that.

“Im not trying to be obsessive. Im just trying to understand.” Brandon heard his voice soften for the first time since getting to his apartment. 

“Come here.” Jen said grabbing his hands and walking them both to the sofa. They sat down facing each other, still holding on to each other’s hands.

“He came over that night, apologized and left. That’s all that happened.” Even though she felt bad for lying, Jen still didn’t want to tell Brandon the details of her and Khalil’s last conversation.

“Okay...” Brandon said. 

“That’s all you had to say” he thought but kept it to himself for the sake of the argument being over.

Jen could tell Brandon was still annoyed with her, just as much as she was with him but she knew that this argument was just an effect of Khalil being back. Although he was back Jen was still focused on keeping her word to herself about giving her relationship with Brandon a real chance, not just to get Khalil out of her system but because this was her safe haven, Brandon was her safe haven all summer and she was not ready to lose that. 

She got up from her spot on the sofa and moved to sit on his lap. She grabbed his face with both hands looking him straight in the eyes “Im over him.” She said wishing she meant it. “I don’t want him being back to ruin this before it’s even started” Jen said. 

She watched as he visibly relaxed at her words. He suddenly remembered their conversation from yesterday about him asking her to be his girl and how she insinuated that she wanted that. That she wanted him. He felt relieved that seeing Khalil again hadn’t changed that... yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a fellow fanfic reader, I know how much more convenient Wattpad is, therefore I published this on there as well. I will continue to post new chapters on here though, you can decide where you want to read it. :)
> 
> wattpad: @earthbabyy


	5. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: As of now im going to be challenging myself to incorporate their powers into the story so bare with me. 
> 
> Also, here is a (1) chapter without Brandon for the people who read even though y’all don’t like him lol I hear y’all. Thank you for reading!

“So...let me get this straight. The exact day after you tell Brandon you want to be with him... Khalil shows up at school?” Anissa said after listening to Jen give her the run down, making sure to leave certain details out.

“Well I didn’t actually tell Brandon I wanted to be with him... I might have hinted at it though.”

“Y’all are cute.” Anissa smiled.

Jen rolled her eyes at her sister. She was very aware that Anissa wasn’t a huge fan of Khalil. 

“So than what happened?” Anissa asked.

“Nothing. I told Khalil we had to stay away from each other. Brandon and I had a small argument about it afterwards but we talked it out and I haven’t seen either of them all weekend.” 

“Damn” 

“Yeah Im just hoping things aren’t weird tomorrow at school” Jen expressed her worries.

“Why would things be weird? You said you and Brandon talked it out.”

“I meant with Khalil...” 

“Well it won’t be weird with Khalil either if you stay away from him like you said you would” Anissa said like it was common sense.

Jen looked down at her hands, a suddenly sadness taking over her. She knew it was for the best. She knew he wasn’t good for her anymore but she hated that this is how it turned out between them after everything they went though. 

“Jen?” Anissa said interrupting her thoughts.

“Its just that I freeze up and zone out every time I see him and its weird.” Jen said with a sigh. 

Anissa sat closer to her on the bed and pulled her into her side. Jen rested her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes, slightly wishing she could tell Anissa the whole story. 

“You’re just not used to seeing him around again yet. You’ll get over it and him with time. I promise.” 

“So you don’t think I should talk to him? See what he has to say?” Jen asked already knowing what her sister’s response would be.

“Absolutely not.” 

Jen chuckled already having decided that she was going to talk to Khalil. 

—

Monday morning Khalil found himself at his locker preparing to start the new week. After his talk with Perenna, and a long weekend of reflection, he was set on staying focused on his goals. Better mental health and graduating with honorable grades. That was the plan.

Khalil narrowed his eyes and tilted his head a little, suddenly feeling a pounding at his temples. He leaned forward into his locker and used his fingers to rub the sides of his head. 

The pounding stopped for a moment giving Khalil a chance to recover. He felt panic as he remembered the familiar feeling. The strange headache always used to happen when Painkiller was trying to free himself. 

“Not this. Not now” Khalil whispered still holding onto his locker. 

There hadn’t been any signs of Painkiller in months. Khalil couldn’t understand why he would choose now to try to come back. It didn’t make much sense because Khalil wasn’t angry or stressed or being attacked. He was fine. 

Only seconds went by before his head started pounding again. Khalil closed his eyes tightly, preparing for a battle with Painkiller. He heard the echo of a voice in his head but it wasn’t his own. The voice was far but it was quickly coming closer, getting louder.

“Jen?” he thought, recognizing her voice. At the thought of her, she appeared. She stood in front of him in the black pit that was his mind. 

“Get to last period early. I’ll be there too.” He heard her voice again as an echo but the figure standing in front of him wasn’t speaking, or moving. It was like she was a picture. A memory.

Before he could respond, she was gone and the pounding stopped abruptly. Khalil’s eyes opened as he exhaled a long breath. 

He turned away from his locker quickly, his eyes scanning the crowded hallway until he spotted her. She was watching him from a far. When their eyes met she turned away and turned the corner, and just like that she was gone. 

It didn’t take long for Khalil to realize what had just happened. She was in his mind, similar to how he was in her mind at prom the day he died. Why couldn’t she just come up to him? Why wouldn’t she just talk to him. 

“I guess I’ll find out in last period” Khalil thought as he closed his locker and started making his way to class. 

He made a mental note to tell Perenna that Jen was still using what she taught her. 

—

Following Jennifer’s orders, Khalil got to their last class 10 minutes early. He was thankful that the class was empty when he got there assuming Jen wanted to talk in private. 

Shortly after Khalil got there, Jen did too. She walked past her usual seat, instead sitting in the one right next to Khalil. She dropped her bag to the side before turning to face him. Without even saying or doing anything he seemed to take her breath away.

Jen had been anticipating this moment all weekend. She mentally prepared for the many ways this conversation could go. She had planned on being firm with him, maybe even a little harsh to get the point of them staying away from each other across. Yet all she could say when their eyes met was: 

“Hey” In a tone much softer then the one she had planned on. She bit the inside of her cheek, a small punishment for wavering from her plan. 

“Hey Jay” Khalil gave back. He took in her features, having not been this close to her in so long. She was as beautiful as ever. 

“Last week. In the parking lot. You wanted to talk?” 

“Uh yeah” Khalil sat up straight and turned so that he was facing her completely. “How you been?”

“Really?” Jen snorted. “That’s what we’re doing?” 

“What?”

“Last time I saw you, you said I wouldn’t be seeing you around anymore so im assuming there’s a reason you’re back in town?” Jen asked, ignoring his question. 

“I- I never left town. What I meant by not seeing me around was that I was going to give you your space and stay away from you...” 

“So you came back to school because you decided you’re done with giving me my space?”

“No-“

“Well?” Jen interrupted trying to understand why exactly he was back so soon. 

Khalil wasn’t fazed by her tone. He knew her well. She was aggressive in everything she did and this conversation was no exception. He expected that much. 

“Perenna has been helping me all summer.” Khalil told her. Jen blinked in surprise at the new information. “I made a lot of progress....mentally. So she thought it was time for me to go back to school, get back into society and all that...”

Jen made no gesture to show her surprise or curiosity. She wanted to tell him about how Perenna helped her too, although he probably already knew that. She wanted to ask if he talked to Perenna about her and everything that happened between them. She wanted to ask what progress he made. She wanted to ask where Painkiller was and how he managed to get him under control. She wanted to ask if he was okay and tell him how much she had missed seeing his face. 

Instead, after a moment of silence she asked: “There are other schools... why’d you come back to this one?” 

“Perenna and I have been focused on confronting my past instead of trying to move on from it. Apparently coming back and facing everyone here is suppose to help me.” 

Jen nodded taking in what he was saying. It made perfect sense yet a small part of her hoped that he had came back for her. She huffed in frustration as the thought crossed her mind. 

Khalil noticed her frustration. The last thing he wanted was to stress her with his presence. He wasn’t even supposed to approach her like he had last week in the parking lot, it just happened. 

“Jay Im sorry-“ 

“Im with Brandon...” She said cutting him off. Khalil felt like he was being punched in the chest by her words. 

“Well technically we’re not together together. Not really but... I like him.” 

Jen watched as Khalil clenched his jaw tightly and shifted in his seat. Deep down Khalil knew, since seeing how close they were in the parking lot last week. He didn’t want to hear it though, or see it or think about it. He didn’t want to think about her with Brandon. Or anyone. Because he loved her.

“Does he like you?” Khalil asked.

“He does.” 

In that moment Khalil recognized his progress. Old Khalil would have gotten angry and yelled. Although new Khalil felt anger starting to bubble inside him he pushed it away, the feeling being replaced by an emptiness. 

Khalil felt empty at the sound of Jen telling him she was moving on. He almost wished he could let himself feel angry because the emptiness was worse. He felt helpless. And he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Okay.” He said.

Jen raised an eyebrow. She was waiting for him to explode. Yell at her. At least say something. Before she could say anything a group of loud students came into the classroom as the bell rang simultaneously. They both turned away from each other as the class filled with more students.

Khalil got the message, loud and clear. He had to stay away from her, no matter how much he loved her. 

And not because of Brandon but because of his respect for her and her desires.


	6. Family

“Can you set up extra plates on the table sweetie. Grambi is coming and he is bringing TC and Erica.” 

“Sure” Jen chuckled still finding it funny how Gambi had unofficially adopted the the two metas. She didn’t mind that they were coming over. It was always fun watching them bicker like an old married couple. 

Jen laughed as she put extra forks on the table, finding her thought ironic since they technically were an old couple, they just looked really young because they’d been in pods for most of their life. 

“Are you in here laughing alone?” Anissa said walking into the dining room.

“No.” Jen said deciding to keep her dark humor to herself. 

“Mhmm” Anissa hummed.

“Is grace coming to dinner?” Jen asked her sister.

“Yeah she’s on her way...” Anissa responds. “You should tell Brandon to come!” She suggest glancing at Jen who was giving her a weird look.

“And why would I do that?” Jen asked putting her hand on her hip.

“Why not? Everyone else is coming.” 

She thought about it for a moment. Jen was aware of how lonely Brandon got when she wasn’t with him at his apartment. He told her all the time, often in heated moments between kisses or as she collected her belongings in an attempt to get her to stay longer. 

She was also aware that Anissa was only suggesting to invite him because she liked Brandon for her. She looked up at Anissa who was grinning at her excitingly. Jen rolled her eyes as she left the dining room to ask her parents if it was okay to invite Brandon over. 

—

After dinner Brandon, TC and Erica found themselves with Jen up in her room. Brandon and Jen sat on her bed with their backs against the headboard. Erica sat in Jen’s desk chair and TC stood by the window frowning after being pulled out of the chair by Erica. 

“So you still haven’t been able to find my dad’s birth name?” Brandon asked TC.

After Brandon found Jace dead in his apartment he had a breakdown feeling like he had failed his mother somehow. That night Jen ran to Brandon’s house as the ground beneath Freeland shook, only to find Brandon trashing his apartment with Jace’s lifeless body tied to a chair. 

At arrival, Jen thought he had finally snapped and killed the doctor but soon, after getting Brandon to calm down, he told her how he had found her dead already. Brandon’s desire for revenge didn’t vanish at the death on Jace like Jen had hoped, instead Brandon’s blood lust was now directed towards whoever broke into his apartment that night and killed Jace. 

Jen tried to explain to Brandon millions of times how idiotic it was to take revenge on the person who killed the person he hated most in the world but Brandon didn’t see it that way. For Brandon he had been stolen of the one chance he had to avenge his mother. 

Thats the reason Brandon was still in Freeland, in hopes that the person who killed Jace was still here too. And also because TC was still helping him find his father, which they had reason to believe was also not far from Freeland. 

“No all I got is his last known whereabouts-“ TC was cut off by Brandon letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Yeah I know, Freeland’s psych-ward. I went there already, no one will tell me anything...” 

“Thats all I know but i’m still looking bro, I gave you my word” TC said nodding at Brandon. Brandon nodded back deciding to let it go. 

“If he’s a looney maybe that’s a sign you shouldn’t be looking for him” Erica mumbled. 

Jen glared at her as Brandon growled in annoyance. They were already used to Erica’s bluntness and insensitive commentary but that didn’t make it less annoying.

“Sorry” Erica said putting her hands up, feeling like Jen was trying to shoot her with her glare. 

“Anyways” TC cleared his throat, saving his girlfriend from potentially getting barbecued by Jen. “I heard Khalil was back in town” 

The couple really did have a talent for always saying the wrong things. Jen tensed but recovered quickly not wanting Brandon to notice. 

“How did you “hear”? You don’t even know anyone.” Jen scoffed assuming the computer’s had told him. 

“Gambi told us” Erica said. 

“Yeah he said Jeff helped him get back into school” TC added.

Jen furrowed her eyebrow at the new information. She felt Brandon’s eyes on her clearly wondering if she had just gotten caught up in another lie. She turned her head to meet his confused eyes.

“I didn’t know” Jen said truthfully drawing an imaginary cross across her heart.

Brandon believed her yet he couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the close bond Khalil had with Jefferson. 

“Well you two need to watch each others backs at school. You know he is dangerous” TC said pointing in Jen and Brandon’s direction.

“They wouldn’t have let him back in school if he was dangerous” Jen said.

“Yeah well they don’t know about Painkiller. Have you forgotten what he did to-“

“No TC. I haven’t forgotten and you don’t need to bring it up all the time” Jen cut TC off. 

“Im just saying if Khalil is still alive that means Painkiller is too...who knows what will make him snap.”

Jen rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone from her back pocket. She had already had enough of this conversation so she distracted herself with instagram in an attempt to block TC’s voice out as he went on about Painkiller.

“We ain’t scared of him. He caught us all off guard one time. That doesn’t mean we need to be afraid of him.” Brandon cut TC off as well.

“Speak for yourself.” TC mumbled shivering at the thought of having to face Khalil/Painkiller again. 

Eventually Erica ended up changing the subject sensing the tension building up from the other three teenagers and their shared trauma with Painkiller. 

Not long after, Gambi called for Erica and TC, leaving Jen and Brandon alone. Once they left, Brandon snatched Jen’s phone from her hands throwing it somewhere on the bed. 

“Hey!” Jen whined.

“Hey” he mocked as he pulled her closer to him. 

“Are you ok?” Brandon asked intertwining their fingers together. 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“TC... going on and on about Khalil...” 

“Oh yeah i’m fine” Jen said with a smile.

It had been three days since her talk with Khalil. Khalil was being respectful of her desires of him staying away from her which she was grateful for because Jen wasn’t sure she would be able to handle hiding her emotions during another conversation with him. Truthfully she still felt her heart break every time she saw him in the halls, at lunch or walking into class.

Brandon and Jen pulled away from each other as they heard a knock at the door. Jeff came into the room eyeing the two. Jen wanted to ask him about him helping Khalil but she figured it wasn’t the time. 

“Its getting late.” Jeff said before leaving the room. 

Brandon let out a deep breath as the door closed again. “He hates me.” he sighed.

“No he doesn’t” Jen chuckled. “Come on, i’ll walk you out.” 

They walk downstairs as Anissa and Lynn clean the kitchen. Jen ignores Anissa’s look of approval as Brandon says his goodbyes. They shivered at the change of temperature as they walked outside. 

“Thanks for inviting me.” Brandon said as they approached his car. 

“Anytime.” Jen said. She leaned against the car grabbing his jacket to pull him closer. 

“Let me make it up to you.” He said letting his body rest against hers.

“Hmm how?” Jen giggled.

“Lets go on a date.”

“Huh?” Jen pulled away slightly to look up at him. He had a playful smile on his face but not one that implied he was joking, but one that implied that he knew she’d agree. 

“A date. Us. This weekend.” 

Jen had never been on a real date before unless doing homework and eating pizza bagels with Khalil back when they were still just a normal high school couple counted as date.

“ummm okay” Jen said suddenly feeling uncharacteristically shy. 

Brandon smiled at his plan being set into motion. 

Jen walked back into the house with a wide grin that Anissa spotted immediately and took credit for. It was her idea to invite Brandon to dinner after all. Jen’s smile dropped as Jeff came down the stairs to join the rest of the family in the kitchen now that all their guest were gone.

“Dad how could you not tell me Khalil was coming back?” 

Jeff looked at Jen weirdly and Jen suddenly remembered that her family didn’t know about what happened with Khalil. 

“I didn’t know I had to tell you. You broke up, you two are always breaking up, what’s the big deal?”

“Because dad it’s annoying that I have to find out from TC that my dad is suddenly best friends with my ex-boyfriend” 

Lynn and Anissa listened to the two going back and forth but proceeded to stay out of it. 

“Khalil is family first and your ex second Jennifer. Im not going to apologize for helping him.” 

Jen sighed feeling a headache coming. Jefferson was right. Khalil and his family had been close to her family way before they started dating and Khalil no longer had a family of his own. And despite what he did to her she never wanted anyone to see him as the type of person to put his hands on a girl, which was part of the reason she never told her family about it. 

“You’re right...” Jen said nodding at her dad. She didn’t have the energy to argue anymore much less when she knew her dad only knew so much. 

So she let it go...


	7. Dating Other People

Other then his talk with Jen on Monday, and the few times he saw her in the halls with Brandon, Khalil considered he had a pretty good week. He was socializing more, studying and has been thinking about joining the track team again. Perenna suggested competitive activities might be pushing it, considering it could trigger Painkiller but Khalil felt confident he could at least try. 

The confidence was also an accomplishment for the week. He was learning how to trust himself to be in control of his thoughts and reactions to things. He had to give Perenna credit because coming back to school really had been a good idea. Perenna made sure to congratulate him on his mental progress but not without giving him some homework first. 

“Its time you make some progress socially too. I want you to do something fun this weekend.”

“Okay” Khalil started to nod.

“That doesn’t include siting in your trailer drawing...Go out.” Perenna clarified. 

So when friday rolled around Khalil got to school in hopes to get invited somewhere. He hadn’t been in the high school scene in a while but surely his classmates had something planned for the weekend. 

Khalil made it to first period, taking his usual seat. He took out a pencil and leaned back in his seat waiting for the class to start. 

“Hey Khalil” said Ayanna taking a seat next to him. 

“What’s up Ayanna” Khalil smiled.

He’d known Ayanna since elementary school, and considered her a good friend. She was also raised in Freeland with Kahlil and Jennifer making her one of their OG friends. Therefore it wasn’t unusual that she was talking to him.

“How has your first two weeks back a school been?” Ayanna asked, taking out her school supplies as well.

“Better than I expected honestly. Im glad I came back.”

“Me too” She said. Ayanna bit her lip trying not to talk herself out of when she had been planning on doing all week. 

Khalil didn’t notice her holding her breath and tapping her pencil nervously at her desk. He was too busy drawing small cartoons on his desk. It wasn’t until she spoke again that Khalil looked up at her noticing the tremble in her voice that wasn’t there before.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Ayanna asked.

“I was hoping someone would throw a party of something. I don’t know?” Khalil wanted to ask her if she was okay as her voice trembled again.

“Oh.” 

Khalil looked at her weirdly but turned back to his drawing when she didn’t say anything else. Ayanna felt like she could throw up. She felt like she was completely ruining her chances. After one last inhale and exhale, Ayanna managed to ask what she wanted to ask.

“Want to go out?” 

Khalil looked at her again meeting her curious eyes. 

“To a party?” Khalil asked obliviously excited.

“No...like to a restaurant or a movie theater...with me. Do you want to go on a date with me?” 

Khalil’s eyes widened at the word ‘date’. The last thing he was expecting was for Ayanna... who he’d known for most of his life... to be asking him out on a date.

“Oh umm” 

Khalil thought. Perenna would definitely want him to say yes but Khalil couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not because there was anything wrong with Ayanna. She was fine, smart and kind but his mind drifted to Jen. 

Jen, who’s eyes still spoke to him whenever they crossed paths in the halls or as she walked into class. Khalil’s heart still speeds up every time he see’s her and by the way she steals glances at him and her body seems to freeze for a millisecond whenever their eyes accidentally met, he’d bet money Jennifer felt the same. 

Yes, they had to stay away from each other, and yes she seems to have found comfort in another boy yet Khalil had no interest in dating anyone else. No matter what was going on between them, Khalil knew very well who his heart belonged too. 

It’d be pointless to try to move on when no one would compare. And he wasn’t the type to date someone else just to get a reaction out of Jen, not to mention it’d be cruel to Ayanna. 

“I can’t...” He said cringing at the look of disappointment on her face. 

“Oh” Ayanna said looking away from him feeling embarrassed. “Okay”

“Im sorry. You’re beautiful and i’m an idiot but I’m just not mentally prepared to date.” Khalil said to her truthfully.

“I understand.” Ayanna said.

They both sighed in relief when the teacher finally got up to start the class.

—

“Where is he taking you?” Anissa asked excitedly. 

“I don’t know” Jen sighed. “Oh he’s here” 

She jumped up from the couch as her phone buzzed with a message from Brandon. It was Saturday night and also their date night. Jen smiled as she walked outside at the sight of Brandon. He was leaning against his car with a single rose in his hand. 

Jen started to walk away from the house but turned back around with a glare as she heard Anissa squeal in excitement. Jen pointed directly at her sister.

“Go inside.”

“Okay sorry” Anissa snickered before going back into the house and closing the door. 

Brandon laughed as Jen approached him. She rolled her eyes playfully before giving him a hug. Brandon hugged her back tightly. When they pulled away he handed her the rose watching as she closed her eyes and lifted it up to her nose. 

“Thank you” Jen smiled. 

Brandon didn’t say anything, instead he closed his eyes and puckered his lips. Jen laughed loudly but kissed his lips nevertheless. Brandon was usually too cool and smooth. He walked and talked with a certain aura that made strangers perceive him as some sort of mysterious bad boy. And it wasn’t unintentional. 

But Jen enjoyed the moments like these where he would show her how playful and soft he really was. 

“Come on” Brandon said opening his car door and closing it again when Jen was settled inside.

Brandon took her to a nice restaurant where they had dinner and dessert. After dinner they went to the skating rink for a while to meet up with some friends from school. Skating was always one of Jennifer’s favorite things to do and she felt like she couldn’t have asked for a better first date.

They skated until they were both tired and decided to call it a night. Instead of taking Jen home, they ended up at his apartment later that night, not quite ready to end their date yet. Brandon still had something up his sleeve after all. 

“It wouldn’t be us if we didn’t end our date like this” Jen laughed blowing smoke from her nose. 

“That is so true” Brandon agreed as he passed her the blunt. 

They smoked together on his sofa in the dim apartment, like they had hundreds of times. They talked and laughed about everything and nothing. Jen has really gotten used to this. To him and she felt happy about it.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” Jen said with a smile. 

“Oh yeah?” Now or never Brandon thought to himself. 

“Yeah.” Jen said turning to face him. “How ever will I make it up to you?” She said teasingly yet playfully. 

“I know how” Brandon said giving her a look. 

Jen giggled completely misreading the situation. In one quick move she straddled him, letting herself sink into his lap. She ran her fingers through his hair pulling gently to expose his neck to her. She kissed him there before mumbling against his throat.

“How?”

“Be my girlfriend...” Brandon said.

“What?” Jen chuckled nervously pulling away from his neck to look at his face. 

“Im asking you to be my girlfriend”

Jen froze as the words left his mouth. How could she be surprised when she was the one that put the idea in his head just over a week ago. She had been so sure that she wanted to be with him officially yet now she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. 

In her head, when he would ask she would say yes immediately but apparently it was just that, all in her head. In reality she felt the urgency to run away. 

Brandon watched the panicked look on Jen’s face and he immediately knew the answer to his question. He reached for her hand but she pulled away as a reflex. She climbed off him and sat back on the sofa feeling her high drifting away by the second. 

“Im sorry. Maybe I misunderstood but I thought this is what you wanted.” 

“I did...” Jen said feeling confused with herself. 

“Did?” Brandon asked. He wasn’t angry, just confused as well.

“There is just so much going on right now...” 

Jen wasn’t one to make excuses for anything yet here she was searching her brain for a good enough reason as to why she wasn’t accepting to commit to the very much perfect boy sitting next to her right now. 

“Just last week we talked about this. What’s changed since then?” Brandon asked.

He knew though. He knew exactly what had changed but he wasn’t completely sure if she was aware of what she was doing. 

“I don’t know. Im sorry...” 

Jen knew too. She wasn’t ready to admit it though. Not to him and much less to herself. 

Brandon sat back in the sofa, laying his head back as he looked up at the ceiling. Jen looked down at her fingers tapping anxiously at each other in her lap. Both of them in an oddly comfortable silence despite the conversation at hand. 

Neither of them wanted to say anything, both dreading the changes this could being to their... dynamic. She’s basically saying she doesn’t want to be his girlfriend. Brandon didn’t know how to feel. Were they just supposed to go back to how they were and act like he never asked? Did this mean she didn’t want to be with him at all. Were they going to go back to being just friends.

Brandon had so many questions but he figured they would all be answered eventually. There was only one question he felt the strong need to voice out loud.

“Is it because Khalil is back?” 

“What?” Jen asked even though she heard him loud and clear.

“Last week you wanted to be with me. Now you don’t. Is Khalil being back the reason you changed you’re mind?”

“This isn’t about Khalil” Jen said, hoping to convince herself. “I thought I was ready but i’m not” She said.

“I thought I was over him but im not” is what Brandon knew she meant. 

Jen frowned at the look of disappointment on Brandon’s face. 

“My head isn’t clear. Can we talk about this again tomorrow when im not high off my ass?” 

Jen was no lightweight, and they’d only smoked one blunt. Brandon knew she wasn’t as high as she was claiming to be but he agreed to continue the conversation tomorrow because he still had hope that she would say yes to being his girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kennifer stans, y’all still with me? I think you’ll enjoy the next chapter! 😉


	8. I love you

Jen tossed and turned in her bed that night finding it impossible to sleep. Her mind was rapid. Ever since she left Brandon’s apartment just hours ago she hadn’t been able to stop overthinking. 

Earlier she couldn’t stop thinking about how tomorrow could change their “friendship” forever. She was saddened by the thought but it wasn’t the main thing clouding her thoughts. More of a lingering reminder in the back of her mind.

The main thing on her mind was why Khalil’s face popped into her head the instant the word ‘Girlfriend’ left Brandon’s mouth. 

Maybe it was because Khalil was the only other person to ever ask her to be that, she tried to convince herself but she knew she wasn’t being truthful. The reason she couldn’t sleep that night was because she had unresolved issues with Khalil. 

Jen sighed as she uncovered herself feeling herself heat up with emotion. She turned in her bed for the hundredth time that night. As she glanced at the clock that read 11:00pm she sat up in bed. She held her head in her hands trying her best to lower her stress levels. 

After a few deep breaths, she stood from her bed, slipped a t-shirt over her sports bra and some sneakers. She locked her room door incase her parents decided to check on her, although it was unlikely.

She quietly opened her window and ducked under it. She needed some fresh air to relax and clear her head. She was only supposed to go for a short walk but now it was close to 1 in the morning and she was walking into a familiar abandoned train station.

“What the fuck am I doing” Jen asked herself.

It was dark and cold and Jen didn’t even know if Khalil still lived in his tailer here. It had been a little over a year ago since he brought her here when they ran away. So much had happened since then, what were the odds of him still living here? 

And even if he was here what the fuck was she going to say to him. She had no clue. She had no clue at all what she was even doing here. In all her mental turmoil she never stopped making her way through the trains and trailers in search for the one he had lived in. 

It wasn’t until the trailer came into sight that Jen made an erupt stop. Like a movie she recalled her first time here. How exhausted she was running for days, how her mom’s voice echoing through the night had brought both her and Khalil back to their senses. 

She resisted the very strong urge to turn around and go back home, instead she walked up to the trailer and knocked. Literally what were the odds of him still living here? 

She held her breath as she saw the light inside turn on. Just second later Khalil opened the door shirtless and rubbing his eyes awake.

“Jen?” He said in a sleepy voice that almost made Jen swoon. 

“Hi...”

“Come in, its cold out here” Khalil said grabbing her arm to pull her inside before closing the door again.

Jen stood there as he passed her and she watched as he put a shirt on and fixed a few things that were out of place. When he finally turned to face her he smirked looking at her attire.

“You look beautiful at 1 in the morning.” Khalil said to her.

Jen looked down at her clothes and scoffed. “Im wearing sweatpants...” She stated. 

“Still beautiful.” 

Jen rolled her eyes to keep from smiling. A moment of silence between the two made the air around them feel like it was getting thicker by the second. Khalil raised his eyebrows expectantly. He didn’t want to verbally question why she was here because he didn’t care why. He was happy she was here, no matter the reason. Jen knew he was waiting for her to say something but her mind was blank. 

“I honestly don’t know why im here. Im sorry. I should go” Jen turned to leave but Khalil stopped her.

“You should stay” He said. He wasn’t going to keep letting her slip through his fingers. She was still his, he could see it in her eyes when ever she looked at him. Even when Brandon was standing between them, she was still his. He just needed her to see that too. 

Jen took a deep breath, composing herself. He watched as she stepped away from the door coming back further into the trailer. She took a seat at the table. She looked up at him, her eyes telling him to sit across from her. 

They were very aware that they were both thinking of the same thing. The same memory of the time they sat in this exact spot and made plans and promises to move far away and learn new languages together. 

They both were going down memory lane in their on minds recalling the details of that night and the nights before as they stare at each other. No words were needed. They just looked at each others knowingly. 

Khalil was the first to speak. “You know that I love you right?” 

Jen felt her mouth go dry with the instinct to tell him that she loved him too. Instead she pulled her eyes away from his by looking down at her hands that were resting in her lap underneath the table. 

“Brandon asked me to be his girlfriend” She blurted.

Khalil felt his heart sink but managed to keep the panicked look off his face. “So you have a boyfriend now?” He asked.

“Obviously I don’t” Jen said quickly.

“Why is that obvious?” 

“Khalil don’t be difficult. Do you really think i’d be here with you if I’d said yes to him?” Jen felt frustrated. She knew deep down why she didn’t say yes to Brandon and Khalil knew too. Hell, even Brandon knew. 

“Well you and him have a thing apparently. You said so yourself so no its not obvious to me Jen” Khalil’s voice dripped with bitterness, recalling the day she told him she liked Brandon. 

“You know what” Jen said pushing her chair back and standing up “Never mind” 

“Jennifer sit down” Khalil sighed as she moved to the door.

Before Jen could grab the door handle Khalil was jumping up and moving quickly to stand between her and the door. 

“Jennifer please” Khalil said firmly despite his desperation “Sit down” 

“Move” Jen said. She felt the impulse to shove him away but stopped herself.

“No” Khalil said still blocking her from the door. Jen huffed in deep frustration.

“Why are you doing this to me?” She said.

“Doing what Jay? I just want to talk and you are trying to run away. Please just sit down”

“No I don’t want to sit down” 

“Ok then just talk to me” Khalil could tell Jen was getting worked up and frustrated due to him not letting her leave. 

He didn’t want this to be one of their screaming matches, he genuinely just wanted to talk. To understand what was going on in her head. To understand where they stood. 

Jen took a deep breath to calm herself. She stared at Khalil’s chest as he blocked the door. 

“I just- I don’t want to be with Brandon” Jen said “I mean I thought I did because I like him and I like being around him but I don’t think I love him” 

Khalil nodded relieved that she was finally talking to him about something even though hearing her speak of Brandon that way pained him. Since being with Jen, Khalil never once even thought of being with anyone else, so the fact that she was admitting to thinking she wanted to be with Brandon and even the hint of self doubt in her tone in the last part of her statement rubbed Khalil in the worst way. 

“Say something” Jen said interrupting his thoughts.

“I want to say im glad you said no to him but I don’t think thats what you want to hear” Khalil said “To be honest I don’t really know what you want me to say” 

Jen sighed stepping away from him and walking back into the trailer. She sat on the edge of his bed rubbing her hands on her jeans “Yeah I don’t know either. I don’t know why I even came here” 

Khalil sat next to her. She was too stubborn for her own good and that frustrated him a lot. 

“I think you do know why you came here” He said softly.

It’s because she loves him. Thats why she said no to Brandon. Thats why she was here. She knew it and Khalil knew it too. But how could she admit that to herself? After everything. After thinking she had moved on. After truly believing she could fall for Brandon. After...

“Khalil you hurt me” 

“I know” 

“I defended you to everybody. I put you before everybody. And you still hurt me” 

“Jay you have to understand that Painkiller-“ Khalil tried to explain but was cut off by Jen shushing him. 

“No. I need you to stop blaming Painkiller. I can recall numerous times of you yelling at me, getting aggressive with me and even lifting you hand up at me, before Painkiller was around. Before any of this....” Jen said. Khalil frowned also recalling those times. 

“You know I used to have nightmares of us... physically fighting? Like really going at it. Its like my subconscious knew that you were capable of hurting me yet I swore to everyone that you would never.” Jen laughed ironically at herself. 

“Im sorry” Khalil used one hand to wipe a single tear that fell from her eye and the other to grab her hands in his. “Im sorry for every time I yelled at you and im so fucking sorry for hurting you. I need you to know that im trying so hard to get better. Everyday im pushing myself to be better for you. And I know its for you because I don’t have anything else to live for. Everything I do, every obstacle I overcame this summer, I do it all for you. I love you.”

More tears fell from Jen’s eyes as Khalil spoke. He felt drops on his shirt from his own tears as well but he didn’t care. He needed her to know that she was all he had. 

Out of pure impulse and emotion Jen leaned forward, stealing his lips in a kiss that tasted like the mixture of both their tears. Khalil felt his entire body relax. He let her kiss him, afraid that she’d pull away too soon if he made any sudden movements in an attempt to kiss her back. 

She kissed him harder like she was searching in him for the answers to all her confusion. He sighed feeling like she was making the pain in his heart vanished with every passing second. 

She finally pulled away leaving them both breathless. They leaned their foreheads together, neither of them wanting to separate completely.

“I love you too.” She said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	9. Ghosting

Jen woke up the next morning to the sound of Khalil’s snoring in her ear and a strong arm around her waist. Being this close to him distracted her completely, not allowing her to even think about how she was probably going to be grounded for a month for sneaking out and staying out all night. If her parents even noticed. 

She turned in his arms so that she was facing him. She looked at him and lifted her hand to trace the shape of his face with her finger tips, hoping his sleeping features would distract her from thinking about how she had to have a very serious conversation with Brandon later today. She’d be lucky if she could delay that talk to tomorrow. Certainly she’d have to give him a straight answer, instead of making excuses as to why she wasn’t ready to be his girlfriend.

She’d also be lucky if she could stay just like this all day, in his arms. Right now, with their chest pressed to each other’s and legs tangled together, Jen was one hundred percent sure that she would never in this lifetime be ready to be anyone’s, except his. 

Khalil flinched awake, snapping his eyes open suddenly and gripping Jen’s wrist from the hand that was touching his face. Jen’s gasped at the tight grip, she knew that if she made any sudden movement and he could easily snap her wrist back and break it. 

The moment only lasted seconds, for Khalil’s eyes softened almost immediately after opening. He let out a shaky breath and Jen did that same as he loosened his grip and brought their now intertwined hands to his lips and kissed her wrist repeatedly. 

Jen felt dizzy from having such intensity fill her just minutes after waking up. Though that’s how everything with Khalil had always been. Intense. 

“Im sorry” Khalil mumbled, lips still pressed to the back of her hand. 

“I know.” Jen said pressing herself closer to him. “We’re going to be okay...” 

Khalil nodded. He knew they were going to be okay but the last thing he wanted was to keep hurting her in the process of getting better. That’s why them being together right now wasn’t an option. They both knew that. 

But they weren’t going to talk about that, they were going to enjoy this moment for now. 

“When did we even fall asleep?” Khalil asked.

“I don’t know” Jen responded. “Did you know you snore?” 

“No I don’t.” 

“Yes, you definitely do.”

“Jay I do not snore” Khalil said seriously. If he didn’t know she loved him, he would have felt embarrassed by the accusation. 

“Then who was snoring?” Jen laughed.

“Probably you” Khalil said. Jen’s face dropped. She tried to pull away from him, starting to get off the bed and faking offense. 

“Im kidding, It was me” Khalil laughed pulling her back onto the bed. “Don’t leave.” 

Jen joins him in his laughter as she gets comfortable again, reclaiming the space between his arms. 

“Are you going to get in trouble?” Khalil asked. He took note on how Jen was in no rush to get home although she had accidentally spent the night here with him.

“Probably, probably not. I never know anymore.” Jen shrugged.

Khalil was surprised by that knowing how tight of a leash Mr. and Mrs. Pierce always had on her. 

“They’ve changed ever since we tried to run away. Especially my dad. I think they’re scared i’ll do something crazy again if they don’t let me do what I want.” 

“Sounds....fun?” Khalil suggested.

Jen shook her head. “A year ago I prayed they’d let me live a little but know that they do it feels like they don’t care anymore... like they’re giving up on me.” She sighed.

Khalil noticed the sadness in her voice as she confessed her worries to him. Knowing how things at home had been for her ever since they ran away made him feel like it was his fault. 

“You should text your dad. He’s probably sleeping still. Tell him you left early this morning, to Anissa’s house or something, and that you’ll be back later.” Khalil suggests. 

Jen nodded pulling her phone from the pocket of her sweatpants to text Jeff. 

They stayed like that all morning. In bed holding each other. Making up for lost time. Khalil offered to make breakfast for them but Jen denied, not wanting to move until she absolutely had too. 

Which was now. It was a little after noon and Jen couldn’t keep ignoring her phone that kept buzzing in her pocket. She didn’t have to look at the phone to know it was Brandon wanting to continue their talk from yesterday like they had planned. Khalil pretended he didn’t notice as the phone buzzed again. 

Announcing to him, who had his head comfortably rested on her chest was the easy part, actually getting up, not so much. 

“Ten more minutes...” Khalil mumbled hugging her tighter. 

“You said that an hour ago” Jen laughed. 

“Fine” he said letting her go and looking up at her. 

She ignored the discomfort she felt at the lost of his body heat against hers. She threw her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Khalil propped his head up with his elbow watching as she stretched. 

“Let me drive you home.” he said, but Jen wasn’t going home. 

“You know that I can fly right?” Jen said with a smirk knowing how much he liked her powers. 

“Right.” Khalil said remembering the time he saw her flying, while fighting off painkiller as he tried to shoot at her. “Well let me at least walk you out.” 

He got up from bed, stretching as well before walking her to the door. Jen walked outside and turned to face him as he leaned against the doorframe. She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek and smiled. 

“You can come anytime” Khalil said. Jen laughed knowing he meant it suggestively and literally. 

“Nice try but im still not losing my virginity in this trailer.” 

“That’s fair.” He said laughing as well. “But seriously, come back soon, I like having you here.” 

Jen nodded and turned to leave. He watched her until she was out of sight. He closed the door with a silly smile, he couldn’t seem to shake off of his face. He locked the door and walked back into the trailer jumping out of surprise to see Perenna standing there with her arms crossed and disapproval written all over her face. 

“Shit.” Khalil sighed knowing he was in trouble. 

— 

Jen walked all the way to Brandon’s with one thought in her mind: I really need a car.

She could have flew but it wasn’t a smart thing to do at this time a day, especially not without her suit. Plus she used the time to think. About last night/this morning and what she would say to Brandon. 

She loved Khalil, there was no doubt in her heart about it but she didn’t want to lose Brandon. Brandon meant the world to her and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him because he has never hurt her. Not once. 

“Hey” Jen said walking past Brandon and into his apartment. 

“Hey. I didn’t think i’d get to see you today” Brandon said closing the door. 

“We said we would talk today” Jen reminds him. Today she was supposed to tell him if she wanted to be his girlfriend or not. 

“I know but you also ghosted me all morning so....”

“Brandon please.” Jen sighed. The conversation they were going to have was bound to be a hard one and she didn’t want to complicate it even more then necessary with an argument about ghosting. “I thought we were past arguing about ghosting.”

“Where were you?” He asked leaning his back against the door. 

“Home.” 

“We are past ghosting but apparently you’re not past lying?” Brandon wasn’t expecting her to lie about being home but now he was even more curious as to where she was all morning and why she felt she had to lie to him about it. 

Jen raised her eyebrows wondering how he knew she was lying but not giving in quite yet to telling him the truth about where she was. 

“I went to your house this morning. Ya know... to talk. Mr. Pierce said weren’t home.” 

Jen sighed again. There was no point in lying about where she was, especially since it played a part in why Jennifer was not accepting to be his girlfriend right now.

“I went to see Khalil.” 

“Ouch” Brandon hadn’t been expecting that either. He wasn’t a complete idiot he knew very well that Khalil played a part in Jen’s change of heart about wanting to be his girl. 

Jen stayed silent as Brandon looked down at the ground in thought. He suddenly regret even asking her to be his girlfriend. Not because he didn’t want her anymore. He did, he really did. But he wouldn’t have asked if he’d known it would push her closer to Khalil.

“So you and him are back together?” Brandon asked. 

“No. I just needed to talk to him” 

“Oh” Brandon felt a small sense of relief yet he couldn’t help feeling like he’d been cheated on. 

Before anything else was said, Jen pushes her hair back behind her ear and Brandon narrows his eyes trying to focus his vision on what had just caught his eyes. He walks up closer to her and grabs her hand lifting it up between them. 

They both gasp at the same time as he rotates her hand. Jen had not even noticed the black and blue hand print that wrapped around her wrist until now. 

“Did he...” Brandon starts to say but Jen snatched her hand away from him and holds in to her chest. “He did that to you didn’t he?” Brandon yells feeling his face heat up with anger. 

“He didn’t mean to.” Jen said, more to herself then to him. 

“Are you crazy? He is abusive Jennifer!” 

“Brandon you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jen said knowing Brandon was probably creating some crazy scenario in his head. “It wasn’t even like that, and how many times do I have to tell you, I know how to defend myself.”

“I know you do. That is not the issue. The issue is you’re not willing to hurt him in the process of defending yourself. You’d rather take it and not use your powers on him. Just like you did the day he flipped out on us. You could have easily stopped him from hurting you but you didn’t.”

Jen blinked, not having a quick response like she did for everything else. This was different. 

Khalil had been startled and he woke up scared. He hadn’t intended to hurt her. Jen recognized the difference between what happened this morning and what happened that day, but it didn’t change the fact that he still wasn’t okay. As long as Khalil was struggling like this, they couldn’t be together. It wasn’t healthy.

That was just the reality of it. Jen and Khalil we’re not ready to be together no matter how much they still loved each other. Was Jen going to string Brandon along while she waited for Khalil though? She couldn’t even if she tried. She cared about both boys way to much to put them through the roller coaster that would be. 

“I came to talk about us. Not Khalil.” 

“You think I care about that when you come in here bruised up?”

“Brandon...” Jen sighed

“Is there even still an us because it sounds to me like you’re about to break up with me.” Brandon asked doubtful. 

“I can’t break up with you if we aren’t together.” Jen said. She regret it immediately after she said it as he looked at her in disbelief.

“Wow” He said turning away from her and walking into the kitchen. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. You’re acting like a child.” 

“Than leave.” 

“You said you’d never kick me out again...one small argument and you’re doing it again?” Jen scoffed. Brandon knew this was her safe space and he promised that no matter what he’d never put her out. 

“I was there for you when you were grieving him. I was there for you when he hurt you. and now you’re choosing him. What do you expect?” 

“Im not with him Brandon. Im not with you either. Im not choosing anyone.” 

“Whatever Jennifer.” 

Brandon walk around the kitchen island, walked past her and sat on the couch pulling out his phone. He ignored her when she asked if they could have a civil conversation about it without yelling. He didn’t want to keep talking about it. Not right now. Not when he knew she had just came from being with Khalil.

“I don’t want to lose you...” Jen said feeling her heart breaking at the cold hearted energy he gave off as he continued to ignore her. 

She stood there for another minute hoping he’d say something. Anything. He didn’t even lift his head to look at her. Not until he heard the door slam shut. Just like that she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Talk to me. What did you like or dislike about this chapter?


	10. Priority

https://youtu.be/bCgLa25fDHM

—

Perenna listened from inside Khalil's trailer as he told Jen to come back soon, making her disappointment in him grow. Khalil finally closed the door and started to walk back inside with the biggest smile spread across his face. The smile instantly dropped the moment he looked up to see Perenna. 

"Shit" 

"Are you crazy?"

"I can explain." Khalil said quickly. He didn't like disappointing Perenna. Perenna nodded waiting for him to explain. Khalil signed. "Okay I can't explain. I was just as surprised as you when she showed up last night." 

"LAST NIGHT?" Perenna yelled, outraged. She had been under the impression that the couple of teenagers had spent the morning together, not the entire night. 

"Oh yeah... she spent the night." Khalil said. He was aware of how bad it sounded and Perenna had every right to be upset and worried but he couldn't find not one ounce of regret in him. Not even right now with Perenna pointing her finger in his face. 

"You're playing a dangerous game" She warns. 

"Perenna you don't understand"

"I don't understand what? That you have zero self control? That you're risking to throw all your progress away over a girl"

"Jen isn't just any girl." Khalil defends.

"You're right. She isn't just any girl. She's THE girl. The one that your murderous alter ego has a kill mission out for. What were you thinking bringing her here?" She asked.

"I didn't bring her here though. She just showed up." 

"And you didn't tell her to leave?" 

Khalil almost laughed at the idea but didn't not wanting to be disrespectful. 

"Im in love with her why would I tell her to leave?"

Perenna shakes her head at the boy. She didn't know how to get him to see how wrong this was. She was enraged by Khalil's outrageous behavior but she was worried more than anything. Worried because she knew that if something tragic was to happen to that girl, Khalil would never recover. Jen's blood on his hands, would be the death of him. 

"Did anything happen that I should know about?" Perenna asked calmly, not yelling anymore. 

Khalil looked down nervously to avoid her gaze. He hadn't thought about the moment since it happened and she was not going to be happy to hear about it. Perenna noticed him tense up and tensed as well in anticipation. 

"Khalil?" 

"She woke up before me... she was touching me and I snapped for like 0.2 seconds" Khalil explained. "But I controlled it." He added. 

"What did you do?" Perenna asked nervously. 

"I just grabbed her but my instinct was telling me to hurt her." He said honestly. 

"Oh no" Perenna started. "Was it him? Was it Painkiller?" 

"No I just woke up afraid. Im not used to having someone in my bed." 

"Khalil you have to stay away from her."

"But I stopped myself from breaking her wrist. Isn't that proof that I have it under control." Khalil cringed at how bad the words sounded coming out of his mouth but it made perfect sense in his mind. 

"Do you hear yourself? You shouldn't have to stop yourself from hurting her."

"I know it sounds bad but im trying and she knows im trying. She loves me Perenna, im not just going to let her go"

Perenna sighed. She wasn't asking him to let Jennifer go. And Perenna knew that if there wasn't another boy threatening to take his place in Jennifer's life, Khalil wouldn't be in such a rush to get her back. 

Before Khalil knew Jen was showing interest in another, he seemed to understand why he had to stay away from her. But now, the fear of losing her to someone else was clouding his better judgment. Making him think, saving his relationship with the girl was the priority, when in reality the priority should be saving himself. 

Perenna feared that Khalil was less focused on himself, because for once, Jennifer's sole focus wasn't him. And he wasn't used to that. But as a therapist she knew that arguing with him about the situation would only lead to him pushing her away. And what good would that do?

"Im warning you now: She will be the trigger to bring him back if you don't stop now." Perenna said seriously deciding not to say anything else about the situation. All she could do was hope that love and self-will wouldn't ruin the boy standing in front of her. 

—

After leaving Brandon's apartment, Jen walked home with a heaviness in her heart. Wiping tears off her face every so often. The way Brandon had ignored her was eating away at her emotions but she wasn't crying because of that. She realized she was crying because she was scared. 

Scared of losing him. 

When she got home her father was sitting on the porch. Jen could tell he had just came from a run because Jeff was drinking from a water bottle, sweating and breathing heavy. Jen saw him from a few houses away and made sure to wipe her face completely so that by the time she approached her house there was no evidence that she had been crying. 

"Hey daddy." Jen said walking up the steps and sitting next to him. 

"Hey baby girl. Where's your sister?" 

"Huh?" Jen said confused for a moment. 

"Anissa?" Jeff said looking at her. 

Jen closed her eyes cursing herself. With Brandon on her mind she had completely forgotten that she'd texted her dad that she was at Anissa's all morning. Jen didn't know when she had become such a bad liar, this was like the forth time she'd gotten caught in a lie in only a couple weeks.

Jeff chuckled shaking his head at his daughter. He wasn't mad, more amused at the guilty look on her face.

"Relax. Im not gonna ask where you were" Jeff said. Jen felt like she was about to cry again, this time because of how dismissive her father was being. Again.

"I was with Khalil." Jen said hoping to get a reaction from Jeff. Preferably an angry one.

"Oh" Jeff said. He looked almost happy to hear it, completely ignoring the fact that Jen had lied about where she was. "How is he?"

Jen felt her eye twitch. She contemplated telling him she had spent the night with Khalil too to see if that would get him to yell at her but she decided against it with a sigh. 

"He's fine." 

"Im happy to hear you two worked things out." Jeff said.

"We haven't." Jen responded quickly. "I mean yes, we have worked some things out but we aren't together." 

Jeff nodded amused. Oblivious to the real struggles Jen and Khalil faced, he was hopeful that them getting back together was inevitable. 

"Dad. Have you ever loved anyone other then Mom?" Jen asked.

She was confused with herself. Last week she was sure she had feelings for Brandon, than, after her time with Khalil last night and this morning she was certain he was the only one she will always love but other then love, what could possibly explain the absolute heartbreak she feels at the thought of letting Brandon go. 

She doesn't want to imagine being with anyone except Khalil. She doesn't want to imagine her life without Brandon. And so what could explain her refusal to choose one over the other, except loving both of them. It was the only logical explanation, but was it even possible to love two people?

So deep in her own thoughts, Jen almost missed Jeff's response.

"Sure I have." 

"Wait really? Like you've been in love with someone else?" Jen was shocked.

"I've lived a long life baby" Jeff says with a laugh.

"So who was it?" She asks intrigued.

"It doesn't matter because i've never loved another woman as much as I love your mother." 

"How did you know who you loved more though?" Jen asks, knowing from current experience that it couldn't have been that simple. 

"Well back then it wasn't about who I loved more. You see there is a difference between loving someone and being made for someone" 

Jen didn't ignore how her mind automatically placed the two boys in her life accordingly to match the statement her father had just said. There was a difference between loving Brandon and being made for Khalil. 

"I was made for Lynn Stewart and she was made for me, even if I wouldn't have married her, even if I would have ended up with another women, we would have always been connected." 

Jen listened as her Dad spoke his truth without realizing he was also speaking her truth as well.

"It was a matter of deciding who I was willing to love from afar and who I absolutely could not live without." Jeff said with a smile. "I regret nothing" He added dreamily looking up to the sky.

Jen smiled too knowing he was thinking of her mother. She looked up to the sky as well. But frowned after a moment of registering her fathers words. She didn't want to love either of them from afar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to update because truthfully I haven't been in the right head space to do so. I am tired. Traumatized. Angry. Numb. My heart is aching for my people. But the chapter was already written and so I decided it could be good to spread awareness.
> 
> The youtube video I attached to this chapter was posted by Zoe Amira. Its an hour and it has ads throughout the whole video. The $$ from the ads will be distributed to the blm organization and bail-out funds in different cities for protesters. You can copy and past the link to get to the video or you can go to my wattpad where I also attached the video to this chapter [wattpad: earthbabyy] 
> 
> All im asking is for an hour of your time and not to skip any of the ads. You can help make a change without even lifting a finger. What’s stopping you?


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